THEODORE, ALABAMA -- Here's a photo a pelican showed me of BO posing Monday for a great photo op with SEIU workers, imported from Noo Yawk, on this otherwise deserted beach. Notice their pasty white skin. Also notice that BO's sleeves are rolled up for the work ahead -- devouring that biggie-size snowcone in his hand.
Later in the day, BO stopped in Gulfport, Mississipi, to reassure America that everything is just fine in the Gulf states, by gorging on shrimp and crawfish and crab. Everyone else in His entourage had to settle for McDonald's, but, in a twist of irony, their food actually may have been safer.
Through his ministry of propaganda, the press, BO then told Americans they had 48 hours to go to the nearest Gulf beach for a vacation ... OR ELSE! Then he retired to his hotel room so that TOTUS could upload tonight's speech about me into His brain. I'm sure his words will really kick my ass.