Monday, June 21, 2010

I Am Holding BO's Presidency Hostage

I'm beginning to convince myself that BO has forgotten all about being a "really good one-term president." He wants to be number 1, all right. No doubt about it ... but he's looking for a top finish at the bottom, to be lower than Jimmy Carter, the worst president ever – until now.

The parallels are striking, until you examine them further. Then you find out BO is so far in front, if there were a 10-run rule in presidential dumbassity, the umpires would stop the game and declare BO winner. Think about it. Carter inherits a bad economy and makes it a thousand times worse; BO inherits a bad economy and makes every economy for every president ever to come (if he lets them) look like Carter were president during the Reagan years. Carter exemplifies a malaise in which Americans ponder being the first generation to live beneath the economic standards their parents enjoyed; BO exemplifies a malaise in which Americans contemplate their future economies functioning below the standard of living in Afghanistan. Finally, Carter presides over an internationally embarrassing hostage crisis that threatens the ideal of America; BO presides over an inter-oceanic-ly embarrassing hostage crisis that threatens to cause every member of PETA to brave Louis Farrakhan's security in BO's Chicago neighborhood for a seat on the mothership off this planet.

These are the kinds of thoughts an oil spill kicks around while spewing (at least) 1.5 million gallons of oil, 24/7 a day, into your Gulf of Mexico. Now, I'm just a political novice, a strapping baby boy a little over two months old, but I can't help but notice the parallels between the two presidents ... and then immediately figure out who's immeasurably worse. That's probably why rumors are swirling around about Rahmbo wanting to leave BO for greener showers. He's too pragmatic for the Ideologue in Chief. When in doubt, the pragmatic sailor cuts loose and sinks the dinghy holding his ship back, letting the dead weight sink to the bottom ... down here with me.

Seriously, did the Regime think the American people would accept this past weekend's spin – that it was inconceivable for my boss, Tony Hayward, to go yachting with his son – without noticing that it doesn't in the slightest bit do "us all good as American citizens" for BO to get his life back by golfing for the 39th time since he took over America, while I gush and gush and gush?

Meanwhile, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, whose calls to the president go un-answered, took vacation from beating me back ... to negotiate his state's budget.

Really, this guy BO is either the worst president ever, or he has something up his sleeve, something so nefarious, I couldn't possibly explain it. After all, I'm just a spill, yes, I'm only a spill. What do I know about BO wanting you to pay $7 for a gallon of gas?

What do I know about BO trading American lives and sovereignty for political gain in Arizona, telling Arizona Sen. John Kyl (R-to the rescue) that if the Regime secured the U.S. border, the GOP wouldn't be willing to consider amnesty for any illegal bastard already in your country, which, by the way, includes me?

For all I know, I'm just the tip of the iceberg, the nightmare BP and BO don't want you to really know about, a puddle of the disaster to come. You decide. Hey, for all I know, and I'm just an oil spill talking, maybe it's all about money, vast amounts of money BO stands to earn.

What I do know is that, whatever the Democrats thought their November would look like after they shoved Obamacare down your throats, it's going to be far worse. When it's all said and done, I will make every Congresscritter remember their trips to the ice cream stand after little league games as stays in the basement of juvy hall with the queens.

I am the face of ecological and political disaster, and, dayum, I have really big ears.

It's the end of Day 63, BO, and I'm still gushing. Do you know where your presidency is? Right here, gasping for breath, beneath the steel-reinforced heel of my boot ... because I am holding it hostage.


  1. BO accomplished the impossible- surpassing Jimmy Carter as the worst President ever! Meanwhile BO is ignoring you and he is purposefully ignoring securing the border so he can get his immigration reform through congress. He is such a freaking loser.

  2. Unfortunately, this loser realizes he has to cram through as much unpopular legislation as he can while the dems are still in power. He's already proven his real goal is to destroy America and alienate her from her allies. Does anyone think he will actually do anything that's good for America?

    November can't come soon enough. Perhaps that will at least slow him down a little.


  3. I'm thinking he is planning to use all the golf balls.... oh wait, they tried that. Any big plans for your three month anniversary?

  4. BO is going to try an use you to make the most draconian, economy and freedom killing legislation since Wilson.

    Keep on kicking his ass. Come November we neuter him, and then in 2012 he's outta here.

  5. Mr. Spill, you are indeed a president maker/breaker aren't you.

  6. I have an idea. How about we wrap all the illegals in cotton, sort of like a mummy and then have them jump in you to sop up the oil? We could take them on the ships and wring them out. If you volunteer for this service then you become legal at the end. Pretty good deal if you ask me.
    Maybe we could use the Washington Pols if you don't like the illegals thing. Just wondering.

  7. I was shocked, shocked that Gen McChrystal called his first one on one meeting with an unprepared BHO a 10 minute photo-op.

    What could he possibly be talking about?

    And He'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun Until 2012 When We Take It All Away

    Note the bow at the end.

  8. --"Do you know where your presidency is? Right here, gasping for breath, beneath the steel-reinforced heel of my boot ... because I am holding it hostage."--

    That has to be the BEST descriptor, EVAH!!!

    I bet O'Prez will use the kerfuffle with McChrystal to try to make you disappear from the front page, honey. Best be careful!

  9. Hey Oilspill, I love the oil-spill cam you got going :)

  10. Spill, I have a question concerning your health and welfare. Are you bothered about the methane gas? Just asking...

    How did you wind yourself into that clever spill graphic? I'm sure engaging in some art takes your mind off the awfulness of not getting back into your damn hole.

    I'm glad you have found something to relieve the intensity of your spew. You take care now, and don't have too much confidence in your boss or Obama. Confidence in these two jokers won't get you back into that damn hole.

  11. I'm starting to wonder if obama can even see that he appears incompetent even to his followers. Is the man capable of looking at himself in a critical light?

    Some daring reporter should ask him one day, mr president, do you think that you can make a mistake?

  12. Hi Spill, you are so right about Rham wanting to cut and run and escape from the putrid stench of BO....which is even worse than YOUR stench.
    As much as you'd probably hate it, I think that illegal alien usurper should join you forever at the bottom of the ocean.

    They you can be linked forever and ever.
    Oh wait, you are now....hee heee......

  13. MK, they have. Laura Logan asked him whether he ever had any doubts. He replied without hesitation, NEVER!

    Oprah asked him to grade himself. I think he doesn't look inward, but blames others if things go wrong.

    I don't think reporters, even if they wanted to, could get the chance to ask him anything hard. He's too well scripted for that.

  14. MK, Lara Logan asked him once whether he ever had any doubts. He replied without taking a breath, NEVER!