Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm Just a Spill

BO: OOF! You sure gotta climb a lot of steps to get to this Capitol Building here in Washington. I think I'll go golfing instead. But I wonder who that sad 700 gazillion barrel plume of black liquid is out there in the Gulf?

I'm just a spill.
Yes, I'm only a spill.
And I'm bearing down on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long way
Until BO can leave this morass.
It's a long, long wait
While He looks to kick someone's ass.
But I know I'll bring Him ruin someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a spill.

BO: Gee, Spill, you certainly have a lot of potential to tar-ball my presidency.

Spill: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn't even a spill, I was just the second largest oil deposit in the world. Some folks back home decided they wanted gasoline in their cars and lights in their homes, but they didn't want it to come from their backyard, so they called their local Congressman and he said, "You're right, there oughta be a law to push drilling way off shore." Then they made my employer come find me. But there was an accident, and no one knew how to fix me because I was a mile under the sea. And I became a spill, and I'll remain a spill until your people decide to come for you because they know you haven't a clue about what you're doing.

I'm just a spill.
Yes, I'm only a spill.
And I'm bearing down on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long way
Until BO can leave this morass.
It's a long, long wait
While He looks to kick someone's ass.
But I know I'll bring Him ruin someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a spill.

BO: Listen to the American people arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about me?

Spill: Yeah, you're one of the unlucky ones. Most community organizers never even get a chance to look for crisis in opportunity ... but you don't even know what to do with it. In a way, I kinda hope they never find a way to cap me, so that someone might stand up and yell “You Lie!”

BO: Lie?

Spill: Yeah, as in YOU lie to the American people. You know, like when you said it was your responsibility to fix me, what, with all your geophysics qualifications. Oooh, but it looks like I'm gonna live! BP just put a soft cap on me and I'm still gushing like a volcano!

I'm just a spill.
Yes, I'm only a spill.
And I'm bearing down on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long way
Until BO can leave this morass.
It's a long, long wait
While He looks to kick someone's ass.
But I know I'll bring Him ruin someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a spill.

BO: You mean even if I bow to the whole world no one will take me seriously? My simply being great won't be enough to plug your damn hole?

SPILL: Yes, that's called a libtard. If the President is a libtard, he'll dither and dawdle and sing Beatles songs with an aging hippie while I bathe the coastline with my oily sheen and put people out of work during a time when your country needs jobs jobs jobs more than they need a pretender in office.

BO: By that time it's very likely you'll be sloshing at the door to my office. It's not easy to screw up a presidency, is it?

Spill: No!
But how I hope and I pray that I will,
But today I am still just a spill.

Congressman:
The people voted, Spill! Now you're a legend!

Spill: Oh yes!!!

UPDATE: Special thanks to Doug Ross and Weasel Zippers and The Reaganite Republican and NoisyRoom for showing the spill some love. Not everyone is looking for an ass to kick.

17 comments:

  1. LOL! Careful! He'll send the overpaid SEIU goons after you!

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  2. Un-frigging-believable - wow. Laughing my ass off...

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  3. LMAO! This is great! BO is an incompetent POS and a sorry ass leader.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I laughed, I cried, It made me whole.

    Or is that hole? Of the unplugged variety, of course.

    Oilspill, you're a genius!

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  6. You are one hilarious Spill! You could probably get a little more face time with BO if you'd just woo him a bit. Give him an award, a jersey,some ribs or take him for some golf Spill! If you're gonna be around for a while -why not make friends with BO? He may not have too many left when you are done. Even MSNBC is struggling to keep their legs tingling for BO. This morning Joe, Mika and the gang on "Morning Joe" convinced themselves that all this country's anger wasn't really about you or BO's response to you Spill. They decided people are just mad that there is a black man in the WH... They have nothing left Spill. You are as devastating to the libtards as you are to the Gulf. Well done Spill!

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  7. lmboooo thanks for visitin mah humble abode ...spill shmill~! Rock on dude.;-)

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  8. Spill, I think this would make a great video. Can you sing? You simply must branch out to other mediums.

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  9. Hey, Granny Jan. I was able to sing around April 20, when I was almost born, but over the last 50 days I've been gushing so much, my voice is kinda horse. Maybe we can get a stand in. I'd suggest Ozzy.

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  10. Spill, YOU should go to congress. You'd be less oily and slimy than all the demotards in there!
    You have a real future as a songwriter, after you destroy obummer.

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  11. Spill, Granny Jan has a great idea. Can you put your little ditty on YouTube? I would go viral.

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  12. Gotta love that Schoolhouse Rocks song!

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  13. From what i've seen of leaders and their relationship with the people, you can never really tell what will turn the people against you, in what i've seen, many incidents of incompetence, treachery and bastardry that ought to turn people completely off came and went without incident

    But one thing i can see for sure, once that incident, whatever it is, happens and the people turn, they won't turn in your favor again.

    I don't know if this is obama's turning point, it may well be given this is something that cannot be fixed quickly and obama promised to fix it.

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  14. Linked! Great stuff!
    http://mindnumbedrobot.com/2010/06/11/robo-love-tgif-edition/740

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