Saturday, June 19, 2010

An Oil Spill Runs Through It

It's day 61. I'm still here. No one's kicked my ass yet. Not even close.

Oh, my employer claims to be kicking my ass. BP sucked up or burned off 25,000 barrels of me yesterday. It's an impressive figure, I must say ... because it's at least the amount I'm still gushing into the Gulf every day, if not more. But don't take my word for it. Want to have a better visual than the spill cam in the sidebar to your right? Here's another way to see what 25,000 barrels a day heading for your coastline looks like.

BP did kick someone's ass: My boss, Tony Hayward, is no longer my boss, a day after getting raked over the coals for political theater by all those big talkers in Congress. The good news is that our "Small People" expert is now getting more involved. I think I just felt a shiver in my stream.

Meanwhile, BO's big plan for kicking my ass continued to unfold yesterday. Don Quixote and his tilting at windmills Cap and Tax agenda will make you pay $7 a gallon for gas. I'm sure that will plug my damn hole. Come to think of it, you probably won't be driving much anyway. Not when unemployment around the Gulf goes up while deep water drilling profits go to Brazil, where politicians seem to be less concerned with showboating and more interested in improving their country's economic positioning in the world.

It's all part of BO's new plan of action: If I ignore it, the spill will go away.

That's why he spent $1 million of your tax dollars yesterday to speak for 10 minutes in Ohio about a "big ... deal," stimulus-funded construction. Few cared, and even fewer heard him, especially not the construction workers who should have been earning $200 to build a nearby hospital building but instead were ordered to take the day off without pay so BO could safely read from his teleprompter.

Not that Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal needed extraordinary security at about the same time, but he did need the Coast Guard to stop messing with the barges he'd gathered to suck up my oil and keep me from fouling his coastline even further.

And while Jindal continued to work for a living, BO expanded his carbon footprint, flying from Ohio back to DC to take in a ballgame at Nationals Park. At least he couldn't confuse it with "Comminsky Field." Thankfully no one asked him to throw out the first pitch.

All I can say is that when BO speaks of me on the unemployment line in 2013, he'd better not speak of me badly. I am his legacy.

Eventually, all things merge into one, and an oil spill runs through it.


  1. Deliberate sabotage to get energy bill passed. George Soros' fingerprints all over it. He wins in Brazil, We lose. NWO gets bump in oil maybe 30 cents/barrel.

  2. Spill what do you plan on doing when this is over? We sure could use your help on the border.

  3. You're not called Obama's Oil Spill for nothing.

  4. What's this F***ing approval thing ... It's me!

    I forgot to mention, that sidebar gadget is great!

  5. Oh, thank goodness we'll be paying through the nose for gasoline soon. If you can find a job at all, it'd better be within walking distance.

    And just forget about the price of goods.

    And for all the good the gov't would do with that money, they may as well use it to plug the hole.

  6. Oil Spill, you sure are wearing out the POS potus.
    He had to relax by defiling a ball game. I'm glad he didn't
    throw out the pitch, or I would throw up.

    BO the zero wasted so much money/fuel jetting around to annoy people, you will rule him for years * years.

  7. love the side bar,

    By the way, very few fighters if any retire undefeated any more and never get their asses kicked. You just might take us back to the days of greatness!

    Hmmm I wonder who could be next!

  8. You are the mother of all albatrosses, and you are tightly around Obama's neck.

  9. Oh Bama who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come thy will be done, in the Gulf as it is heaven. Pray with me friends.

  10. Oil Spill 1, Barack 0. Jindal 2, Obama -0.

  11. Methinks that the "small people" are beginning to catch on... George Soros... Petrobas... Brazil... Fenton Communications...

  12. I'm thoroughly enjoying watching you ruin BO's pRsidency.

  13. Curioser and curioser....isn't it??

  14. "Thankfully no one asked him to throw out the first pitch."

    Yeah, we all know how that turned out, it was about as lame as his attempts to pretend that he gives a flying @#$% about America.