Saturday, June 12, 2010

I Am In COMPLETE Control

When BO and my employer, Tony "I'd Like my Life Back" Hayward, likely meet next week, they'll take turns chasing each other around the resolute desk, kicking each other's ass.

But first they'll compare their degrees from Narcissism University.

Which must be nice, thinking only about yourself. Here I am, spewing on Day 54 like a volcano and no one is in charge, no one is doing anything for the out-of-work fishing industry, no one is helping Louisiana and Mississippi and Alabama and, now, Florida, keep me from staining their beaches and ruining their tourism incomes, like I'm staining and ruining BO's presidency.

The talk goes on and on and on, just like me, but nothing gets done. Another month of this, and BO's approval rating will be Less than Zero, and my employer will be living out of a dumpster.

Sure, BO has talked to the experts, so he knows whose ass to kick, but, in true BO MO, He misrepresented what those experts said, so He could stop all off-shore drilling for the rest of the year.

That's life under the Disaster in Chief. The Gulf dies and the president lies. Maybe he can't suck me all up with a straw, but he sucks nonetheless. He's like the Energizer Bunny of suck ... He keeps sucking and sucking and sucking and ... . He sucks so badly He now has His own Captain Suck-Ass action figure. It comes complete with no balls.

I'll leave you with this, because I have work to do; keeping my boot on the throat of the Regime is a full-time job:
Responding to my last post, Guy Average wrote ... "I wish you had a chance to become refined, but since The Left does not like the appearance of oil rigs close enough to shore so that a spill could easily be contained, I guess you are just going to remain out of control."
He's spot on with the first part, but that last bit is dead wrong.

I am in control. Complete control.

UPDATE: Thanks to Doug Ross for the oil love, and a late thank you to King Shamus.

24 comments:

  1. Perhaps Zero should read "Oil Spills for Dummies."

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  2. Last night BO took in a show at the Kennedy center. The second one in a short time. The photo is on HotAirPundit but let's say he's a dead ringer for Mussolini.

    I made another video: Barack Obama: I Can't Suck It Up With A Straw Someone went postal over my choice of music. I tried to calm him down or not.

    Hold in there, Spill.

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  3. Obama said "I can't suck it all up in a straw." I'll grant him that, but he could at least suck some of it up with a straw.

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  4. Bo never has cleaned up anything---he just leaves a trail of bullshit everywhere he goes!

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  5. You tell 'em, Slick.

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  7. Booosh's fault!

    Same as that double bogey Barack got on the back nine yesterday!

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  8. Maybe BO can put his hands in you, then he'd do something about it ;)

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  9. @wentintoadream BO should read a lot of books with titles that end with "For Dummies."

    @Granny Jan, JihahdGene, cbullitt I'll keep flowing. You can count on it.

    @innominatus He's too busy sucking up everyone's money.

    @Ron He's the dirtiest president ever.

    @Reaganite Republican Maybe I can find my way into a water hazard at BO's favorite golf club, just in case he falls in.

    @Supi Don't blame me; blame a Democrat for making BP drill so for out in the Gulf.

    @Candle When BO's an old man, his dying words will be "Out damn spot!" for all the oil now staining his hands.

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  10. I guess we can thank all the people who wanted to make themselves "feel good" by voting for a minority candidate. I never thought I'd be saying this but, I would take Hillary over this disaster any day. Amazing how he stepped on her throat and neutered Bill all at the same time but, that's the subject for another day. What took 230 years to build is being destroyed by this guy and his cohorts in just TWO years. Just be prepared as there are more catastrophes to come.

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  11. He sure does suck! I love it, captain suck ass ha ha ha.
    I hope Cameron punches him in the face. That would be expecting too much, after he insulted England before, many times.
    Oil Spill, keep up the good work of destroying your boss.

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  12. Best yet Spill! So crude yet so refined ...

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  13. Mike Huckabee just had a show where he featured Americans with great ideas to help clean you up, Oil Spill...and none of them involved a straw. Too bad BP and Obama haven't made a move to use any of these ideas.

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  14. paladinssquare.blogspot.comJune 13, 2010 at 12:24 AM

    Spill, you are teaching me one thing. I have come to realize that when the end comes I would much prefer a quick decisive blow, perhaps a meteor or a simultaneous detonation of all the world's nuclear missiles, than a slow and drawn out end like you are causing.

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  15. Spill, as much as I love your blog, you need to go away. Maybe you need to have a heart to heart with BO?

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  16. Hey Mr. Spill, Relax buddy. Just float along like you have no cares in the world. We all know the Golden Pantload can't do anything about you.

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  17. We all know BHO is too busy sucking up other substances with a straw to be bothered with the Gulf and our buddy the oil spill.

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  18. LMAO! The oil spill certainly has tarnished and stained Obama's image. Obama is a useless piece of crap that needs to disappear along with the oil.

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  19. Oil Spill, you may be destroying the Gulf, but at least you're taking the Prez down with it. LOL

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  20. Obama thinks that he can use you as a reason to pass his energy laws. I'm thinking that by the time the legislation comes to a vote, Obama will be too slimy to promote it.

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  21. What you said in that email seems like it should offend me. Pthththtttt. Anyway, doing a good job here, keep it going! :P

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  22. "He sucks so badly He now has His own Captain Suck-Ass action figure. It comes complete with no balls."

    Brilliant, that's the best description of the cretin.

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