Sunday, June 6, 2010

That's My BO, the Disaster in Chief

BO's propagandist, Mumbles Gibsy, has said -- just about as many times as he's uttered his favorite word, "umm" -- that the Regime has been on top of me from the beginning. I discovered this weekend that, for the very first time, the Regime is actually telling the truth: BO knew from the beginning how bad I could be.
The White House appears resigned to living with the BP oil spill for some time to come. But that’s not surprising—since President Obama and his team were briefed from the outset that the blowout at the Deepwater Horizons rig was epic in scope—and would not be fixable for a long, long time.

Carol Browner, director of the White House Office of Energy and Climate Change Policy, told Obama in late April that the blowout would likely lead to an unprecedented environmental disaster, a senior White House aide told The Daily Beast. Browner warned that capping a well at such depths had never been done before, and that they ought to expect an oil spill that would continue until a relief well was drilled in August, the aide said. (Browner’s office did not immediately reply to a request for comment).

That bleak prognosis, delivered so early on, has infused Obama’s senior team with a sense of fatalism about the spill from the start. Little that has happened since has changed their mindset. Now six weeks later, the president’s top advisers expect the oil spill – and the negative stories – to continue through August.
Strangely, you will no longer find paragraphs one and three of the above passage where it originally appeared Friday evening. Having intimately known BO for 48 days now (ewww ... that came out wrong), I can confidentially surmise that BO added making Richard Wolfe edit his post this weekend to the Regime's many diversions.

And the diversions are making me angry.

Here I work, tirelessly, day in, day out, for free, without sleep, to ruin his presidency and all he can do is decide to “live with me.”

He spends His idle time dithering away on vacations and date nights and stress relief on the golf course. When He does work, He blasts Wall Street and Arizona and makes racist political videos.

Meanwhile, the broken condom on my pipe captures only a fraction of the oil I'm gushing, and the Regime is suddenly telling everyone this morning that I will be the longest orgasm in history, lasting into the fall.

Which makes me think that all of BO's recent pomp and circumstance, about it being His job to fix me, about being angry with BP, is more TOTUS blather for the chattering class. What I'm really starting to understand is that He does want to be remembered as a one-term president.

But not as a "very good" one.

No, BO will be remembered for a title that "we are the ones we've been waiting for" never dreamed of receiving but apparently will live with, too, despite all the damage control and rhetoric and photo ops of BO rolling up His sleeves and picking pieces of His brain off the beach.

For it is becoming crystal clear now that history will remember my BO simply as the Disaster in Chief.


  1. Mr. Spill, I do so enjoy your updates. However, aren't you being a little tough on the greatest president of all time ? After all, he has volunteered to dive down to you and stick his head in there (first he has to take it out of ....). The ears might be a problem though.

  2. BO, disaster in chief! You sure can call it, Oil Spill!

  3. Disaster in Chief (DIC) Oil Spill is slick.

  4. @Odie BO is in charge; it's his job to fix me. Therefore I will fix him.

    @Bunni Do you mean that I sure can spill it?

    @Supi I am slick. I am slimy. I am kicking Barack Obama's heiny.

  5. Mr Spill, I'm so glad I found you. I even made a special video just for you.

    Join Team Obama in His Fight Against the Oil Spill

    If you become a member of Team Obama you get a complimentary t-shirt and hat. I'll even throw in a special Team Obama trophy just for you.

  6. From Snake Oil to the real thing---is that the change some voted for!

  7. @Granny Jan Thank you for your wonderful video. Since I am BO's oil spill, I am already a member of Team Obama. Consider me BO's Count von Stauffenberg.

    @Ron Russell Oil oil everywhere; And all the Regime did shrink; Oil oil everywhere; As their future began to sink.

  8. If you're Stauffenberg does that make BO 88? Nah

    (Sorry about the 88. I was once stalked by some internet nazi guy so I learned the lingo)

  9. One termer, oh don't tease me like that, i really hope so, but i'm not holding my breath.

  10. So, the regime and BP fibs about your potential as a disaster? I hope they aren't using you to push some crazy environazi scheme.

  11. Thanks, Bunni. Oily, I really did make my new video for you:

    You look great and the link works.

  12. Oily, are you in hiding because Obama is looking for someone's ass to kick? He's so sexy when he gets angry. I can't wait for IOTW's take of ass kickin Barry.

  13. @Granny Jan Thank you so much for your new video. It's partially been the reason for my absence. I've shared it with a few friends on Twitter and Facebook (even oil spills have to be up on social networking these days). I will make a brief update tonight centered on BO's morning delight being shattered by reality.

  14. ha great stuff dude..Keep up the fight!:)

  15. Oily, glad you reared your ugly mug from the depths of the ocean to share your words of wisdom about "DIC"!

    By the way, I am a quart low, can you spare a little?

  16. Hey Oil Spill -
    It's me -the Nashville Flood. Dude I was a devastating hot mess but you totally trumped my Ace. You may not have heard about me but a month ago I destroyed Nashville and most of Middle Tennessee and BO couldn't even be bothered for a photo op with me. He did however call Brad Paisley to tell the folks in TN that FEMA was here and that he was on me from "Day 1"!Seriously! Brad Paisley!!! I was surprised Gibsy didn't hold a press conference to let everyone know that Patsy Cline personally called BO to tell him how awesome he is. I got a call today from the Ohio Tornado today. Yep - the regime is all over him too. Anyhow - keep up the good work of destroying BO and the regime but could you ease up on the wildlife please. The pelicans didn't vote for him...

  17. @WHT I am an oil spill ... I can't help myself.

    @What Makes Us Right See above comment to WHT. Take what what you can. It's obviously free.

    @rlesuer I have said elsewhere, on Twitter and Facebook (but you probably don't know that, since most people don't know how socially networked oil spills are today -- they even give us iPhones), that I am ashamed of what I am doing to wild life. I would take full responsibility, but I'm at the machinations of my creators: Liberals who made the oil companies drill deeper, where they've never experienced something like me ... until now, and bad practices that lead to my rig's demise.

    That's why I've asked BO to donate the $5.5 million he made in book sales last year to a Wildlife Trust for the Gulf. Naturally, he won't return my calls.