Monday, June 14, 2010

The Rhyme of the Ancient Oil Spill

Hour after hour, hour after hour,
I gush, with unquenchable devotion;
As idle BO takes golfing tours
Without care or sensible notion.

Oil, oil, everywhere,
And all the Regime did shrink;
Oil, oil, everywhere,
As their futures began to sink.

-- BO's OilSpillBlog

I'm getting really scared. BO had the Coast Guard send my employer a nasty letter over the weekend, telling BP they had 48 hours to pick up the pace of collecting my sludge ... OR ELSE! They didn't say what else is, of course, but I suspect it means BO is going to kick some ass. That's the BO Regime, always specific with the rhetoric.

I still don't know why the letter didn't begin with the words "let me be clear." After all, even more so than BP, the BO Regime is probably the world's most qualified group of experts ... in making a bad situation worse.

Then BO got really tough ... He compared me to September 11th, 2001. I felt so down after that one, I doubled production and worked on fracturing the Gulf sea bed beyond repair.

For the coup de grace, yesterday BO went golfing for 4 hours, continuing His incredibly unwavering display of steadfast leadership in this time of crisis for the communities around the Gulf.

When BO stops by to see me today, and has His great photo op for the week, I'll have to ask Him if He understands that I'm a hell of an albatross around His neck.


  1. It's not fair for him to compare you to 9-11 like that. He must not have shoot well that day.

  2. You better stop complaining about BO, Mr. Oil spill...or else!

  3. 9/11?
    BHO as the kamikaze pilot?

    On friday night the Obamas saw the play about Thurgood Marshall at the Kennedy Center. As there were no photos allowed I didn't get to ooh and awe over Michelle's latest creation, but there has to be some sacrifice over the spill.

    You would think the Obamas would be really into the oil spill. Afterall, isn't it black?

  4. Mr. Spill, I think it's time to fire Rahm and hire you. You could really create a slippery mess around that White House .... FORE !

  5. Mr Spill, I just read your poem out loud to my husband and we both think after the spill is gone you will have a great future as an English professor or maybe like BHO you could give commencement addresses to minds of mush.

  6. I read your Fracturing on the Gulf Seabed link. "... but from at least 18 other sites on the “fractured seafloor”"
    18 other sites. Maybe we should tell O that it is an underwater golf course.

  7. Mr. Oil Spill:
    Heads up...
    I read today where BO is backtracking and finally asking for some foreign help to combat you. Just thought you'd like to know that Obama is ummm... thinking that he better start trying to "kick your ass".

  8. Oh, I forgot to mention that I really like your poem. You've gotten pretty good at this blogging thing, Mr. Spill, so I've decided to make a direct link to your blog on TCL. We all need to hear your spews on the subject.

  9. Of course, you could throw a few of those oily 'trosses at Obama... Better to get him before any ass kicking can begin!

  10. I was looking at the photos of BHO going to and in the Gulf today. He's smiling, glad-handling everyone, meeting his adoring crowds and otherwise acting like it's one big photo-op. You would never know that this was 9/11.

    In my newest video I have a striking photo of him at a table with all his honchoes in the Gulf and he has this incongruous grin on his face.

    The video is pretty funny in its own peculiar way:

  11. Oil Spill! Don't fear, you are so much better than obummer.
    Slime him up really well when he visits you.
    Happy Flag Day too.

  12. @Trestin He could compare me to Pompei and still be wrong ... he said it, therefore it's a lie.

    @Candle Yeah. I hear you. I'm quaking in my damn hole.

    @Granny Jan This just proves, that since I'm American, he's anti-American. Also thanks for the link to your latest; I'll be over directly to watch. As for retiring from the oil spill industry to teach, I've already spent enough time on university campuses to last one lifetime.

    @Odie I think I already have created a slippery mess around the White House.

    @Supi I don't want that golfing anywhere near me.

    @TCL Thanks for the heads-up link, and the link over at your place.

    @Brooke I could kick BO's ass by throwing a grain of sand him. His dead fly could probably kick his ass.

    @Bunni The only one who needs to be afraid is BO, very afraid, of me.

  13. Oily, watching the news tonight and it looked like they were working on shutting you down. At first I thought BP found the fix because BO dropped an or else...

    Then I realized they had shut down the camera....

    even under water, BO is controlling the televised press

  14. @What Makes Us Right Trust me. They haven't shut me down. And even if they managed to stop me, I'm already all over the Gulf ... I will plague them for years ... I will haunt BO forever.

  15. He's one slick president!

  16. Oil Spill, you would think ruining BO's presidency would get his attention but he's stuck on stupid. You keep on spirting away and revealing what an incompetent jackass Obama is to as many people as possible.

  17. Mr. Spill, or may I call you Oil? You definitely are defining El Presidente's tenure in the White House for him. Keep up the good work.

  18. You're a heavy weight oil, Mr Spill! All natural...nothing synthetic about you.

  19. Oily, when I heard that Obama compared you to 9/11, I felt terrible for you. All day I was thinking about how heartbreaking this is for you - on top of everything else. This is so unfair. It's not just unfair, it's evil.

    Just keep saying to yourself, "I'm in control. I'm in control. I'm in control."

  20. A disaster, ruining a presidency, blogging...and now poetry? You will have an incredible resume when this is all over, if it ever is.

  21. I recently read the clown was feeling sorry for himself because he had his presidency tough. What a whining loser, he hasn't had to deal with a 9/11 or a looming war and already he's whining that's it all too hard.

  22. Oil Spill for President 2012 :)